Coping Skills

Find some hobbies

My boyfriend is not my hobby. Writing about him is. Duh.

Just kidding. Though Mike and I have been together for close to two years, we are past the honey moon stage and into the sweatpants stages of our relationship. In my opinion the best stage, because I love sweatpants. Anyway, there’s a great factor in all of this. For me to be entertained, I don’t need him. And that’s one thing about our relationship I really admire and treasure. We are very different people, we do not have the same worldly outlook, but we value the same things we find to be vital and important in a relationship. We have differing hobbies we both need to engage in, in order to be mentally and emotionally satisfied. It’s something we don’t make the other person feel guilty about, and there’s an unspoken understanding that when we need our personal time just let us be.

Mike enjoys being alone for lengths of time to play strategy games, work on his car, ride his motorcycle, make a list of where my clothes should go rather than on the floor or on the living room couch. You know normal guy things.

Me on the other hand, my personal time and favorite hobby consist of exercising. Running, cycling, circuit training, playing sports, simply doing something that forces me to exert my body and challenges me mentally. Going on 90 minute runs is considered by many to be boring, but when I’m out there and I feel the wind against my face and my body is pressing up a hill, something inside of me screams in delight even though my quads are trembling and begging for me to stop. When I get to the top of the hill, I know I have won, I have succeeded in pushing myself to the breaking point and in that moment become a little stronger.

I have learned valuable lessons through exercising, especially on the lacrosse field, fullsizeoutput_dcoaching and playing, and while I’m grimacing from painful long runs. It’s okay to admit you’re weak and it’s okay to ask for assistance. But before all else is put on others, what is it that I can do first? Have I done as much as I’m capable of doing? Have I been in this situation before? How have I reacted and what would I do differently? These lessons and questions have helped me get through dealing with grief, and are now serving me a purpose as Mike is deployed. I cannot control what happens around me, but I can control how I react to it. As my parents remind me constantly as I start to become distraught with what life gives me, I need to monitor my attitude first.

So with him being deployed, I now have a lot of personal time. And I’m doing what I can do stateside so he knows I am happy. I’m running in two weeks at the Nashville Rock N Roll 1/2 Marathon, I’m playing a lacrosse game next weekend, I’m heading home to Connecticut to be with my parents for a bit. I’m going to the NCAA Women’s Coaching Academy at the end of May. I have all these milestone events as press forward toward the hill ahead of me, and my body begins to ache and tremble as I move toward the summit. He’ll be back home we both will be stronger once we reach the top.

Long diatribe to go into the Burger Count. Mike consumed a Bacon Cheeseburger which puts his count up to 6 burgers. I shared in the gluttony here and ate a Dave’s Triple Cheeseburger from Wendy’s.

 

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